Don't Sweep with a Dirty Broom

Before you go trying to beautify your life's sub-sections -- job, love-life, relationships -- you need to clean up yourself first. Otherwise, you're just going to drag your "dirt" into those other sections and they'll never be what you want them to be. It's not them (the boss, the new love, or any other person you'd like to have a functional relationship with), it's you. And the sooner you realize that, and start working on cleaning up the "you," the more beautiful your life, as a whole, will be.
You alone are responsible for your happiness. You can make excuses until the cows come home, dwell on your past, or blame others for your current unhappiness; but only YOU can accept what it is/was, make the decision to move past it, and look eagerly into your future. Only you can grasp your life with both fists, take control over what it is, direct it toward what you want it to be, and take the first step to get there.

Only you.

So take that broom (that would be you) outside and bang the crap out of it until all the dirt and dust are gone, and it's nice and clean and in the condition it needs to be to do its job, and THEN go back inside and sweep all your rooms.

...This is my metaphorical kick in the ass for whoever might need it.

November was a doozy. I didn't blog once, and I'm not happy about that. (Notice how I'm not making any excuses about it, though.) I'm back in gear ... and apparently not in the mood to beat around the bush, walk on egg shells, or blow sunshine up any butts. I'm wearing my big girl panties. I highly recommend them.

I hope everyone has a great week! (And if you don't, really, whose fault is that?)
Rock your own world.
Jen

Find Yourself a Good Man - They're Out There, I Promise

After my divorce back in 1998, I spent (wasted) about a year in the dating world. Not really knowing what you want makes it hard to find it. I gave up looking and focused on bettering myself - educationally, religiously, emotionally. It was a good decision. I filled empty evenings with writing - mostly poetry and short stories. I'd share them with friends and family and enjoy the praise. :) Several poems were published in coffee table books. You could call it my year of reflection and personal growth (if you wanted to sound dorky).

Then, continuing my quest to edit my life one day at a time, I found myself scrolling through personal profiles late one night back in November 2000. Back then I was an AOL'er with a free profile on Love@aol.com. (This was big stuff back then - you never heard of anybody doing this, except of course the murdered victims that they talked about on the news.) Anyhoo... you could put in your criteria and search through the matches. You could also choose profiles with or without pictures. I purposely chose "without" because I wanted to read about them without seeing a picture, to see the inside first. Best decision I ever made.

That's when I came across Scott. I liked what he had to say on his profile so I sent him a message. Several emails and then phone calls later, we arranged to meet in person. Our first date was amazing - neither of us wanted it to end so we ended up drinking coffee in IHOP until 1am so we could keep talking. And since I wasn't murdered, like my mother and best friend were sure would happen, we continued dating.

During our get-to-know-you stage, I learned that Scott had been serving our country for (at the time) 19 years. (Brag break: He served a total of 22 with the U.S. Army.) He is the most proud man I've ever known. A true gentleman (not always easy to come by) who puts family first (that's a big'n for me). He's one of those guys who is always there for his friends, no matter what. He loves our daughter (from my first marriage) like she was his own biologically. He's supportive of everything that's important to me (including me cutting my income in half to pursue a dream). I'm telling you, he's always got my back.

So fast forward through 11 years past a wedding, a baby, a new (bigger) house, a couple of scary health issues / surgeries, and here we are... Happily married, with a good, solid, healthy relationship. Friends have teasingly called us the White Picket Fence Couple, but trust me, we're not. We work hard at our relationship. We're both devoted to its lifelong success.

My point in writing this post (gaaah, bet you're happy I'm getting to the point) is that there are good men out there. I had to weed through some to find Scott, but they're out there... if you know what you're looking for.  And THAT is my point. Figure yourself out first. Know who you are and where you want to be. Know exactly what it is you want - in a man, in a relationship, out of life. THEN, go get it. And do not settle.

You are 100% in control of your happiness.

Goodnight... from one half of a happy little couple. ...::inserts a corny little picture::...